I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
