Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
