so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
