its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
