Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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