She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
