that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
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