Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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