kristin has been a bad kristin
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
