girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
