maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
