Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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