Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
