my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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