Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
