I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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