Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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