I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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