wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
