I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
They have beer where we have blood.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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