He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
wow bdsm is so cute
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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