Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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