and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
