You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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