i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
