"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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