none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
