Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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