a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
