Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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