i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
