There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
