I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
