the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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