I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
