Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
