It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
