that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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