They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
