Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
