why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
