i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
