Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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