Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
