...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
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