My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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