jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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