Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
