Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
