my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
